dear drunken soldier at lumpy’s last friday night,
it’s clear that you started drinking long before i even arrived, and i realize it’s the 4th of july and that you’re a military guy and you’re feeling very patriotic.
so if you’ll excuse me for being dense, while i agree that it would’ve been polite for my friend to stop throwing darts when your friend wandered in front of the board, i don’t understand what this has to do with my freedom or your noble defense of it. you insist on reminding me that you’re fighting for my freedom so i can sit here drinking beer— i’m not actually drinking beer, but i get where you’re coming from— but you seem a little heavy on the fighting and a bit light on the my freedom.
the perimeter— the area around the pool table, the jukebox, the dart board and such— is secure. stand down. i don’t need you to kill anyone in the kitchen for me, thanks. the only threat to anyone’s freedom, the only person terrorizing anyone in here, is you.
so, with all due respect, fuck off.
love always,
ray.
